Selamat datang di blog saya...
hate when these feelings arise again, he had much of my time!

nothing to said?
no..no..
it can not be spoken

but, i felt hurt when he was hurt caused of me
but i do nothing
because i can not do anything...

and he did not realize about my feelings to him
because i did not say it to him
because i do not really sure about this one

i'm afraid to said it out...
i'm afraid it could make him hurt when he know my feeling not as deep as him
i was scared when hate and love have just a thin boundary

so i just kept in silent
and i really do not understand why was those make me hurt so deeply?

so i try to throw this feeling away
at least only for now
and i will start to truly love him when the time comes...

Perhaps when the time came, it was late..
i loved him when he had forgotten me,
i got the punishment

punishment sent from heaven...
Hey..i just got little depressed about my bad English ability..thats made me opened interpals.com and go to chat room.
Actually i dont really know what i want to do and suddenly a guy starting new conversation..
check this out!
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JoyDivision: oi
Aldila: yo?
JoyDivision: uhm well, i just randomly clicked on your name and said 'oi'
Aldila: hoo..
Aldila: whr do you come from?
JoyDivision: Holland
Aldila: 'oi' its usually a opening friendly words to open the chat conversation here..haha
Aldila: so i answer "yo?"
Aldila: its javanese
Aldila: hhaa
Aldila: wew..u came from holland
JoyDivision: ah, you're from Java?
Aldila: yeah
Aldila: rite
JoyDivision: I was there last month!
Aldila: really?
JoyDivision: well you don't have to believe me
JoyDivision: but it's actually true
JoyDivision: uh yeah
Aldila: haha..yeah..i'll believe it after i hear somethin from you..hahha
JoyDivision: you can ask a difficult question the check
Aldila: hha..okey
Aldila: humm..
Aldila: but wht place that u visited?
JoyDivision: i started in Jakarta, then Yogyakarta, Malang, Kalibaru
Aldila: wawwww!
Aldila: great
JoyDivision: and ended in Bali: Lovina, Ubud and Kuta
Aldila: malang is my city..xD
Aldila: i come from that place
JoyDivision: really?
Aldila: but i college in surabaya
Aldila: yes!
JoyDivision: I haven't seen you there
JoyDivision: ah that explains why
Aldila: hhaha..
JoyDivision: I was there only one day
Aldila: wew...
Aldila: wht interesting place that u visited in malang?
JoyDivision: uhm this is a bit lame, but i arrived in the morning and in the evening we left to see the Bromo
JoyDivision: so in the end i only walked a bit through the city
Aldila: ohh..
JoyDivision: You have some good neighbourhoods there you don't see in other cities in Java
Aldila: there are many dutch buildings in that town
Aldila: like my senior high school
JoyDivision: yeah i saw a dutch church, right?
Aldila: yeah
Aldila: in the middle of the town
JoyDivision: yep yep
JoyDivision: maybe next time i stay longer in Malang
Aldila: haha...yeah..but i spend my time in surabaya =.=
Aldila: here is very hot!
Aldila: how do you thing bout bromo mount?
JoyDivision: is it a nice city?
Aldila: hemm..not as nice as my town.haha..
Aldila: cause surabaya is a "kota pahlawan"
Aldila: heroic town
JoyDivision: bromo was nice, but i also went to the Ijen plateau, and that was even better i thought
Aldila: there are many places of historic places
JoyDivision: oh okay
JoyDivision: but that is interesting, right?
Aldila: yeah..
Aldila: i saw many foreign tourist walk out in surabaya
Aldila: do you know about the dark history of Dutch and Indonesian? hha
JoyDivision: yep yep
JoyDivision: i apologize
Aldila:
Aldila: I think Indonesia and the Netherlands have a strong relationship
JoyDivision: i though maybe people wouldn't like dutch tourists, but people from Java are the most friendly people i met
Aldila: hha..no..but people here very friendly
JoyDivision: yeah it's true
Aldila: we dont hate anyone
Aldila: its just a dark history.hhha
JoyDivision: and they like to talk to dutch people :P, lot's of time just random people started talking to us
JoyDivision: i really liked that
Aldila: hha..
Aldila: and my friend got double degree and college in dutch
Aldila: i college in civil engineering section so dutch is one of the destination place to come
JoyDivision: wait.....are you serious about civil engineering?
Aldila: yeah
Aldila: but i'm in Geomatics
Aldila: geodesy
JoyDivision: i studied civil engineering ..
Aldila: o yeah?
Aldila: waww
JoyDivision: but my specialization is transport
Aldila: oh..
Aldila: waw..xD
JoyDivision: i'm still working in the civil engineering faculty
Aldila: working? as a ? lecturer?
JoyDivision: umh, not really, i'm doing a Ph.d.
JoyDivision: you know what that is?
Aldila: waww!
Aldila: great! xD
JoyDivision: yeah well..lol
JoyDivision: which year of your studies you are?
Aldila: profesor doctor
Aldila: wawww
Aldila: i still in second year
Aldila: third semester
JoyDivision: how many years in total?
Aldila: normally 4 years
Aldila: s1
Aldila: bachelor degree
JoyDivision: uh ok, that's different
JoyDivision: here bachelor degree is 3 years, and master degree is two more years
Aldila: oh...hha..
Aldila: to get a cumlaude here we must pass only 3,5 years
Aldila: master degree 2 years
JoyDivision: ah you go for cum laude?
Aldila: hwahha..
JoyDivision: I didn't
Aldila: yeah.i tried for it
Aldila: but it seems difficult
Aldila: xD
Aldila: oh..by the way, u r a lecture? err..or ?
JoyDivision: no, i'm a reasearcher, but sometimes give a lecture or supervise students
Aldila: waw...thats great!
JoyDivision: it's strange
JoyDivision: but fun
Aldila: then, your coming to Indonesia must be related with ur job?
JoyDivision: uh no, actually not
JoyDivision: it was just for holiday
Aldila: oh..thats fun...
JoyDivision: have you ever been in Europe?
Aldila: ho i havent..
Aldila: hha..its too expensive
Aldila: but someday I want to walk out of the country like you
JoyDivision: you should!
Aldila: yeah i should! hhha.!
Aldila: its like dreaming if i can go there..waaahhh...xD
JoyDivision: just be patient
Aldila: yeah i know..hha
Aldila: by the way, who's ur name? ;p
JoyDivision: Joydivision :P
Aldila: ho...
JoyDivision: my real name is 'gijs' though, but most people cannot pronounce it
JoyDivision: Is your name Aldila?
Aldila: oh.
Aldila: yeah..thats my name
JoyDivision: okay, i have to go now
Aldila: yeah..
Aldila: u have email?
JoyDivision: it was nice to talk to you, hope you didn't mind i started talking to you
JoyDivision: yep
JoyDivision: g.vaneck@tudelft.nl
JoyDivision: first letter is a 'g'
Aldila: hha.yeah..with pleasure
Aldila: I am pleased to be acquainted with a professor like you .. haha ...
JoyDivision: haha omg...1 year ago i was just a student
Aldila: I got new important link..;p
Aldila: maybe i can college in dutch..hwahha
JoyDivision: but if you need some help i can give you some usefull contacts later on
JoyDivision: yeah lot's of foreigners come here for colleges
JoyDivision: so why not?
Aldila: waw...oh..big thanks!!
Aldila:
Aldila: yeah..haha..
Aldila: i hope it
JoyDivision: or doing a Ph.d.
Aldila: wah...in my mind..hhaha
JoyDivision: i actually 'know' some indonesian girl/woman doing a Ph.d. here
JoyDivision: well i don't know her really well, but a little
JoyDivision: so if you have plans you should talk to her i guess
Aldila: hha..>.< yeah...i dream bout it..xD
Aldila: but my english..hwaha..still verryyy badddd
JoyDivision: you'll improve your english when you do college here
JoyDivision: master lectures are all in english
JoyDivision: but you're english is not that bad, just keep practising
Aldila: oh....yeah...thanks!!!
Aldila: thanks..i got more motivation from this chat..hhee
JoyDivision: haha okay, good!
JoyDivision: ow i was about to go
JoyDivision: well you have my email so...
JoyDivision: have a nice day, and take care
Aldila: by the way, may I know what an institution that you occupy?
Aldila: yeah..
Aldila: thanks!
Aldila: bye!
JoyDivision: Delft Universaty of Technology
JoyDivision: University*
Aldila: yeah...thanks! glad to chat with u sir!..hha
JoyDivision: don't call me that, it makes me feel old
Aldila: hwhhaa..xD
Aldila: wht must i call?
JoyDivision: just 'gijs' will do
Aldila: ok.gijs... *although i dont know how to spell it* xD
JoyDivision: come to holland and you'll learn
JoyDivision: okay i'm really gone now,
JoyDivision: Bye!
JoyDivision has left.